Single Parenting (By Julie Wagana)

It is a place we find ourselves in, not by choice but by circumstances beyond our control. It has mixed feelings ranging from fear, disappointment, anger, and betrayal. It is a situation where we find ourselves learning on the job of playing both father and mother roles and learning to wear both shoes, it is sometimes overwhelming juggling between parenting and working. In (James 1:5) God in His word tells us we should seek wisdom when we lack it, and He shall give it to us. On the issue of Finance, it is advisable that one adjusts to a level that is manageable depending on their ability, lack of the adjustment may lead to financial struggles which may otherwise be avoided. A deliberate lifestyle steps down is appropriate to allow one to focus, and set their priorities right more so if you had strategic plans with your spouse and suddenly you do not have the second arm to help push them.

We should introduce our children to God at a very young age and bring them up in the ways of God, and when they grow up, they will never depart from them. While growing, it is important to cultivate friendship with them, such that they become free with us to share their struggles. If they ask questions about their parent who is not in their life, be there to answer no matter how ugly the divorce/separation was. It is very important to choose the words because regardless of your differences, that man or woman will always be their Mother or Father.

Where a spouse is deceased it is permitted to talk about him/her, let the children know what kind of a mother or father they were. Through the children’s growth, they encounter different hurdles particularly teenage e.g identity issues, and peer pressure is the most common. In this stage, the misunderstanding between the parents and children are common. The kids keep telling us “Mum or Dad you do not understand”, What we must accept is that today’s generation has changed, and even when it comes to disciplinary issues it is different from the old times. As much as possible, we should aim at discussing any misunderstanding guiding them through their various ages., Always seeking God’s help because we cannot parent our children without God’s help and guidance. Through prayer ask God to lead you to a mother figure for a girl who is being parented by a single Father, and a father figure for a boy who is being parented by a single Mother.

In preparation for remarriage for those of us who would want to remarry, it is significant to ask God to teach you how to be a wife and a stepmother and the same for men. The motive is because in the state you get married to a man or woman who has children, we would want them to love and accept our children, and such that the same should be reciprocated from our side.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6

In the journey of life and as a single parent we cannot make it without God, so we should trust God with all our hearts and should not lean in our understanding because our understanding is limited and often fails, but we should acknowledge God in all our ways and He will straighten our paths and those of our children. He is our how, who, when which, and what, He is our everything.

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